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new mom ready to give up
I am new to this site so I am not sure if this is going to be the right place for me to put this.
I am a new mom of a beautiful 5 month old girl named Rebecca Marie Abbley. Me and her dad are still together.
I am in a point in my life where I really just want to give up on everything. My life has taken such a bad turn that I feel as thou I cant fix it. When I found out I was pregnant I was so excited. I had a job, was renting a room from my manager, had been clean and sober off of drugs and alcohol for a year and a half, and had a man I loved finally.
September 11, 2007 was the day my life started to fall apart. I got kicked out of my apartment and lost my job in the same week, the only highlight of that week was that I was finaaly going to be a mom. At the same time of being so happy that I was pregnant I was sad and dissapointed. Well me and my boyfriend we had to move into his parents house. It drove me crazy. Well when I was about 8 months pregnat we got into a 2 bedroom home. Everything was going great. THen on May 19 I had my daughter. I started doing drugs and drinking again. We sold our car for rent money but bought drugs instead. We got evicted. We are now homeless. Thankfully welfare is around because they have a program called the homeless program. They put all three of us in a motel for 2 weeks and I have to find housing. Well I think that I have found a studio or a room for rent. My rent cannot exceed 444. So it has been a challemge to find these two places. But My boyfriend chris got into a motorcycle accident yesterday, not life threatening or anything but he is hurt. And he is not allowed at the motel with me anymore because he got into an altercation with another guest. I am at a point where everything one after another is just hitting my life further down and i keep running out of shovels trying to dig back out. I have never felt so depressed and just plain crappy about my self. I dont have any friends at all I am just around my daughter and boyfriend all the time so I have no one to talk to. So I decided to join this site so I could get some feedback or something I dont no. I no that i need to get help for the drugs, I no how to about it. I graduated from Drug Court and The Redwood Family Center almost two years ago. So I no what to do I guess I am just ashamed and embarrased. I love my daughter more than anything in this world that should be enough right there right? yes of course, but its not that easy. I dont no what to do next.
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Hello, Tamerashe.
It sounds like you're going through a really tough time right now. I haven't been through anything similar, so I don't have a lot of practical advice for you. But I did some looking online and it seems the county has some places you can turn for help. I put the link below, and copied out a couple of groups that might be useful. Those might be good places to get help and support from others who know what you're going through. The only other thing I can tell you is don't give up. You're someone's mother now, and that has to come before everything, and everybody. Keep that precious little girl's best interest at heart with every single decision you make, and you won't go wrong. Good luck.
Patty
http://www.stancounty.com/BHRS/pdf/Friends_Directory_07.pdf
A.C. T. S. (Alcohol/Chemical Teaching Series) A series of classes for families with substance abuse problems. The curriculum is based on self-help, recovery and education. Meetings are free and can be attended by adults and minors. They may help people meet the requirements of probation. The teachers are bilingual. Meets: Tuesday 7pm Modesto Youth Center, 140 Calaveras, Modesto For information call Diane 522-5365
NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS
A number of 12-step self-help groups for persons of all ages recovering from drug addiction. Spanish answer to calls and groups for Spanish speakers available. Meeting times and places vary. For more information call Help Line 526-1817 www. wsoinc.com
I do not know what your name is, but your "boyfriend" is NOT good for you or your lovely little girl. Can you move in with a parent? At least that way you would have to try harder to stay clean and sober. I sincerely hope you are not breast feeding your baby with drugs coming out of your milk. Yes! Get tough and get serious girl! Get away from the boyfriend immediately. If he loved you and his daughter, he would make damn sure that you were safe and CLEAN. If you are on cash aid, there is help for you. Food stamps, etc. There is also a long list of apt.s that are there specifically for Moms in your position. You sound very young and I am sorry for you that you obviously have no guidance. But You MUST HEAR THIS!!!!! They will take your child away from you if you OR your boyfriend do not stay clean. And now you have a "record". Go to Hackett Road in Modesto and take advantage of all of their programs, they have many that will help you. Do it tomorrow, your little girl's life depends on it. ON YOU!!!!!! I have known people on drugs and you don't even have to tell me, I am guessing it's Meth. Methamphetamine steals your soul. There will be nothing left to give your child. Don't look back, just stop right now, or you will more than likely lose your baby. Join a church. Mill Creek in Modesto is a great safe place to get some spiritual guidance that you are in desperate need of.Good luck and God bless your innocent child.
My heart aches for you! I hope and pray that you go to the places the other moms have posted for you and get the help that you and your daughter deserve! You can also to go to church, read a bible and pray for help.If you would like to meet at a park or something please let me know. I will keep your family in my prayers.
Thank you very much. I actually did get that studio apartment on scenic. I was very suprised. I really do appreciate it. Once everything settles in and stuff maybe we can meet somewhere. Thank you again.