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Need help fast
I wasn' sure where to post but I need help fast! I am a 45 yrd that has not raised a child myself as I can't have kids. My fiancee and I are to be married in the next couple of months and we have a 2 1/2 yr old that is driving us nuts. She is a good kid for the most part but now is getting into everything and since I am unemployed I am taking care of her 24/7. Dave is thankgod working but is away for alot of the waking hours of Rachel so it is me who takes care of her for the most part. I have the basic instincts of taking care of a child but now she is driving me nuts. She is getting into everything an anything she can while I am fixing dinner or laundry etc. The cupboards and drawers are her fav's now! Today she got into my makeup,dad's shaving cream,dad's cleaner for his bowling balls,my nail remover (all in one day!) I am going nuts! Besides me taking care of the house, trying to take care of her, trying to find a babysitter or daycare and finding a job before we lose my house I am quickly losing it. Can anyone give me some tips on how not to hang her up in a closet?! Just kidding I wouldnt do that for a min but I need some advice fast....Anyone available?! Thanks New step mom Sandy
Comments
Wow - to start parenting at 2.5yrs is a challenge. That is an age that you do want to strangle them, even when they are your own and you are already bonded to them! First of all, be reassured that trying to do anything else AND watch a 2.5yr old is pretty much out of the question (they require almost constant attention because they are so curious and capable).
It's also an age where having limits and consequences for crossing the limits is starting to take on more importance (for their safety in addition to your sanity). Are you and your husband on board with your discipline methods? Kids learn really quickly how to divide and conquer and manipulate (it's human nature) so staying a step ahead can be really helpful (otherwise you have to dig yourself out).
It also helps to develop a support network of other mothers for your step-child to play with and that you can learn from. It will help give you perspective (what is reasonable, what to expect, how to respond, local resources for parents) and give your step-child something to do and socialization with other kids (behaviors that you don't like, other people aren't going to like either and that can be a very valuable lesson).
Good luck!
Beth Roland, Stroller Strides Modesto
Thank you girls for the input. I really do appreciate it. My computer crashed on me so I wasn't able to get into my emails until now. We have discipline methods in place but have yet to find one that really takes hold as of yet but we keep on trying. When I read your note on manipulation I had a real good chuckle at that. She is a daddys girl by all means and that too is a challenge not only for me but for daddy. He is trying and slowly getting better at not being the comfort zone when she gets into trouble so that in it's self is helping some. She is in the investigation period full force and it is a good thing that we do live in a small house. Whatever room she is in I can hear her so I know for the most part of what she is up to. We have new locks and gadgets on the doors now as she figured out how to open the others. This has slowed her down a bit (at least for now). Unfortunetaly, the kids around my area are older so she does not have playmates to play with. So, I have weather permitting taken her to the park to play with some of the other kids and she is much more content afterwards. We are currently looking for a pre-school or church that has roomfor another child and I do believe this will help her out tremendously.
Again, I thank you both for your input you have helped with new ideas. Sandy
First of all, take a deep breath! A 2 1/2-year-old is a lot to handle, especially if you don't have kids and you get one sort of thrust on you. I have no experience with that age, but I have read some. Seems like what you need to do is immediately put in some drawer and cabinet locks - these are pretty cheap and you can get them at Target. But don't put them on every drawer and cabinet - keep a couple of lower places open to her and make those "allowable" places to explore, with harmless items like plastic measuring cups and bowls and the like. That way she can explore safely while you're making dinner or doing chores, as long as you're right there with her. And when it comes to laundry, she's old enough to "fold" some very basic things, such as towels. Doesn't really matter what they look like, but she'll probably enjoy "helping."
It's a lot to take on, becoming a stepmom, especially for a child so young. I am impressed you're willing to do it. Remember, it's not an easy path but it does have its own rewards. Good luck!